Positive Thoughts











{December 28, 2007}   December 23, 2007

It’s a big mistake not to have written anything in this blog since June. Why do I do that? Why can’t I just keep a blog up? I frustrate myself to no end. Now since I want to keep a more accurate record I am faced with trying to remember the last 6 months. I do have my charts which is good. I have kept up the charting which has been great. So without further ado, a little history.

June, Cycle 2 – The last post was June 7 and after that I ovulated clearly on June 18. CD17. I actually took a pregnancy test on 5 DPO, which looking back was a little crazy. It was a BFN. I started spotting at 10 DPO and had a major demp dip on 11 DPO. I thought the cycle was over and then I made a huge recovery temp wise and my temp shot back up for 5 more days and I was very hopeful. Except for the back that I continued to spot for 5 out of 6 days before I finally got my period on July 4.

July, Cycle 3 – I took a pregnancy test on July 4th, I really thought I was pregnant the previous cycle and looked all over the net for evidence of people spotting for so long who ended up being pregnant. I found my evidence but it didn’t happen to me.  I had gum graft surgery in early July and because I was going to be on some antibiotics as well as having nitrous oxide and some other drugs during the surgery, we decided to skip TTC in July.

I charted anyway and had a lovely temp rise and clear ovulation on CD14. I spotted for 3 days before my period. I thought that was better than 6. I expectedly got my period at the end of that cycle.

August, Cycle 4 – August was a wacky cycle, filled with stress and confusion. Chris and I almost bought a church, which was crazy. In the middle of making the decision if we wanted to make an offer on the church, Chris had an awful time at work where things went so badly wrong that he thought he may lose his job. I was about to ovulate the night he was at work all night and was up all night taking his calls and I was so stressed out. My morning temp got so messed up and then it was not clear when I ovulated. The software ended up saying I ovulated on CD12. I wasn’t sure if it was true. I spotted up CD21 and CD22. Then I had no spotting for 5 days. Then spotting for 2 more and then I got my period. I took 3 pregnancy tests that month.

September, Cycle 5 – We decided that I would take a break from temping but that we would still TTC. We had a bunch of sex in the middle of the month, I have no idea when I ovulated and started spotting on CD 20 and spotted 8 out of the next 9 days before getting my period.  Chris and I also bought a house in September and closed on September 29th. We were so excited, we had 4 bedrooms and couldn’t wait to fill them up!

October, Cycle 6 – I went back to temping because I saw no benefit in not temping. I ovulated on CD16 and we had sex 10 days in a row leading up to ovulation! There was a lot of spotting again, it was really starting to get old. I sadly got my period again.

November, Cycle 7 – We had started to worry in October that something may be wrong. We knew Chris’ brother had an almost zero sperm count so we decided to have Chris do a sperm analysis just to see what was up. We figured it’d be an easy thing to do that would provide some info. The results weren’t horrible but we were told the motility was 50% motile and normal was 60%. He was told to go to a urologist or a fertility specialist. We decided to go see an RE because then we could both be tested and treated as a couple.
We made an appointment with Boston IVF in Waltham and had our consultation with Dr. Penzias in my 2WW of our November cycle.  He suggested testing for me and a repeat SA for Chris.  I was to have Day 3 blood work, a transvaginal ultrasound, and an HSG.

My ultrasound was fine according to the tech.  She said they were just counting Antral follicles, I’m not sure what those are but I am happy that mine were good in number as well as size for where I was in my cycle. 

My HSG was a little more troublesome.  I was the one case of the day that didn’t go according to the doctors 4-5 minute promised routine.  I was brought into an exam room which had a large table so much like the table I had my ERCP on in 2003, it caught me a little off guard.  The nurses were so nice to me and so sweet, they almost treated me like a child.  I don’t know how other people react to being treated like that, but I find it very comforting.  I was instructed to lay back while she introduced the speculum, and apparantly the catheter through my cervix as well.  I was pleasantly surprised that I didn’t notice that part, I thought it would be the hardest part. 

She wanted to start filling up my poor uterus with radio active dye, but for some reason it wasn’t working.  She tried a few different things and kept futzing around down there which was very uncomfortable.  She said she was going to use “tenaculum” which I assumed was some kind of helpful ointment.  After I got home and got on the net I learned that it was a clamp of some sort.  God have mercy, she clamped my cervix with some kind of grabber.  Fortunately that seemed to work and she began to see that my uterus was filling up with chemicals to make me glow in the dark.  It was uncomfortable but didn’t hurt per se.  Once my uterus was all filled up, one of my fallopian tubes filled as well.  I was happy to hear the word I was looking for; spillage.  Once I was at this point I started getting really crampy.  It seemed we couldn’t see the good spillage in my other tube, and unfortunately I can’t remember which was the good one and which one will be punished when I see it next.  The doctor futzed with my innards some more and said things like “the tube is kinking” which I later realized I didn’t know if she meant my tube or the catheter.  At the time I felt sure she was taking about her McDonalds drinking straw she had shoved up my cervix. 

I left the exam room really confused.  I had asked if no spillage meant that my tube was blocked and was told not neccessarily.  I was told it could be a polyp that she thought she might have seen acting as gate keeper to my fallopian tube.  I resigned myself to just waiting to find out.  I was sure Dr. Penzias would tell me everything we needed to know at our follow up appointment before Christmas. 

At our follow up appointment we were finally told the results of all of our tests.  Starting with me, my Day3 bloodwork was all within normal limits.  YEA!  I had been worried about that.  My ultrasound was fine, and my HSG was no more clearly explained to me by my RE than by the doctor who performed the exam.  My RE was happy to see I had one tube that worked and he claimed that was all we needed.  Chris’ SA was perfectly normal too.  I had a feeling it would be, and I was thrilled that it was.  He was too I am sure. 

I mentioned to my RE that in 2000 I had pre-cancerous cells on my cervix and had cryotherapy to remove them.  He told me that wasn’t too relevant.  Then I told him I make very little if any good cervical mucus.  He said that was most likely because of the cryotherapy and that this information was in fact relevant.  I think we went right from there to him saying he reccomended Clomid.  Then it was unclear what he was reccomending so I asked, “are you reccomending Clomind and we keep trying on our own, or Clomid and IUI?”  He said “Clomid with IUI.”  Well there you have it.  Not only did we not get laughed out the door at our initial consultation, but now he believes we need heroic measures to get pregnant.  I was kind of shocked, because although I totally expected the Clomid, I was not expecting at all the IUI.  That’s only one step below IVF.  It’s so scary now.  At first I thought jumping to IUI was wrong, but he explained it was because of my faulty cervical mucus.  If we bypass my cervix entirely and just put millions of sperm in my uterus, he thinks it may work.  So we have decided to embark on our maiden and hopefully only fertility treatement.



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