I had been worried that I was going to completely wig out this week when I finished taking the Clomid.  I was slightly more cranky than usual for a day or two.  Chris easily set me off.  It sucked.  All in all though I would say the Clomid did not give me bad side effects though, thank goodness.

I went in today on CD12 (woops just realized I told the tech it was CD11) the dildo-cam revealed I had a 12.5 mm follicle on my left a 12 mm on my right and some other smaller ones as well on both sides.  This sort of blows, because I was expecting my ovaries to be completely studded with eggs.  Can you say high hopes? 

They already called me back and told me that I was to come back on Thursday morning at 7:30 AM!!!  OMG.  That’s insanely early.  So we will see how it goes then, I am hoping to grow some eggies in the next few days. 

I am feeling really optimistic right now that perhaps I might not get any side effects from the Clomid.  I only have one more dose to take tomorrow night (Wed)  I am hoping Thursday, Friday and Saturday won’t be hell.  I have book club on Saturday so I want to be feeling good, no headache.

I am so looking forward to my scan on Monday!  I am really hoping I make 3 0r 4 eggs.  More than that I hope they are all on my good side, meaning my side with the fallopian tube that is definitely open.  If I get 0 or 1 on that side I will be so sad.  Actually this second is the first I have thought of this possibility.  What if I get no eggs on my good side?  Then What?  I wish they could have told me without a doubt if the tube was blocked or not.  It didn’t fill during my HSG, doesn’t that mean it’s blocked?  Why did they tell me it didn’t necessarily mean that?  Makes no sense to me.  I will try not to stress out over this while I wait for my scan.  I told myself I would do everything in my power to be as stress free as possible about all of this.

It’s late and I am off to bed, good thoughts!

Cycle Day 4 

I took my first Clomid yesterday.  2 50 mg pills.  I went upstairs to get them at exactly 10 O’ Clock.  I found them right were I left them.  In the never used guest bathroom, the one that is always clean, and has no cutter.  I popped them out of their bubble wrap onto the very clean bathroom counter.  I put them in the palm of my had and very carefully carried them in my palm down the stairs to the kitchen.  Holding them as if they were my very babies, little round white babies.  To me it felt like I was holding hope right there in my palm.  I downed them with a little juice and then decided I should stay up and see how they affected me.

I was waiting for searing headaches or nausea or a sudden burst of tears.  By 2 am when I still wasn’t feeling anything I decided to go to bed. 

This morning I am still not feeling anything which I am happy about.  Last night I read a comment by a Clomid user somewhere, she said that if she could have surgically removed her own head she would have.  The headache was THAT bad!  Oh my holy hell.  I hope that doesn’t happen to me.  If it does, I decided I will just go straight to bed, no matter what time it is and even if I haven’t fed my husband yet.  Going to bed will also be what I do if I seem to suffer from the extreme moodiness and emotionality that has been virtually promised to me by the handy insert and dozens of online TTCers.

We shall see how it goes at precisely 10 O ‘Clock tonight when I take some more.

Cycle Day 2

Yesterday was CD1 of our first IUI cycle.  We got all of our meds in the mail 2 days ago.  I got 10 Clomid pills to take days 3-7.  I got a prefilled syringe of Ovirdel, and I got 60 suppositories of Progesterone.  Somewhere on the information for the progesterone it said “helping you get pregnant and stay pregnant.”  Sounds good to me, sign me up for this wonder drug.  All added up our drugs cost over $400.  With the Clomid being the cheapest at $29. and the Progesterone being the most expensive at $331. 

Yesterday I spoke with 4 different people at Boston IVF.  I talked with the financial coordinator to pay for our treatment.  $1250. on the AMEX card.  I talked to the paitient liason to go over the drug schedule and procedures.  I talked to my RE’s nurse to establish that it was CD1 and I talked to his assistant to book my follow up appointment where we hopefully will discuss my pregnancy, but we may be discussing where we go from here.  I hope it’s the former with all my heart.

Today nothing is going on, no calls to make, to drugs to take.  I will start tomorrow night with the first 2 Clomid pills.  Chris will be away for the night, so he will miss it if I suddenly turn into a hormonal crazy bitch.  I do need to exercise today.  I am so afraid that I will gain even more weight once I start treatments. 

We have decided to stay positive and think and speak as if this is a done deal.  We have been joking and saying stuff like, “gotta eat healthy for the babies!”  assuming already that we will have twins.  We can hope.